Today is definitely not a good a day. I'm full of anger, rage, and bitterness towards the medical community. I have never know a day with out either pain or being sick. Most of my memories of the holidays is being sick and here I'm again at holiday time, sick. The sinus infection that I have been fighting for a month now, has robbed me and my son of doing so many wonderful things, like club days with our homeschool group, playing in the park, going to the aviation show at Nellis, and church to name a few. After missing so much I finally broke down and went to the doctor for help.
I say broke down because I was scared of the treatment, antibiotics. Why you might wonder, would someone be scared of antibiotics, well I'm highly allergic to them. When I tell doctors this, many don't take me seriously which changes the whole tone of the appointment. The doctor at this last appointment made me feel like he couldn't wait to get out of the appointment because he didn't want to have to deal with trying to find something that might help me, not harm me.
Well my reaction to this last antibiotic was the worst I have ever had. After doing some research, after the fact, I found out that the one he gave me has the highest chance of allergic reaction. My normal reaction is just itchy skin and migraines. When reading the sheet they give you when you get your prescription, it had said that there was a 1% chance of getting a seizure with it. As usual I was that 1%, it was so scary. It happened at dose 7 of 20. The pervious doses had given me a migraine and the itching but I was so desperate to get rid of this infection I would have suffered through the 10 days but after the seizure like reaction I took no more, which means I still have the infection. On top of it I'm having a major flair of my fibormyalgia. The pins and needles are so bad in my arms and hands that I have barley slept in days, which just keeps making things worse.
As I am dealing with feeling betrayed by my body and the medical community, God keeps showing me the handout I had made to go with my teach for the women's retreat. The retreat and my teach was about living well, and I made a list of bible verse to use to go along with that theme. Yesterday I shared the verses that I did not use, so today I would like to share the ones I did and the ones that God is using to heal me.
The lack of sleep, reaction to the antibiotic, pain, and that time of month have created these waves of crying and anger but just before they take me under, my Beloved's voice cuts through it all and calms the waves, leaving a healing peace. I pray that what ever you might be struggling with today, these verses bring peace and healing to your soul.
Be Blessed!
ps; If you haven't figured it out the retreat and my teach inspired the title and theme of this blog. ;)
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. (Romans 15:13 ESV)
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. (Colossians 3:12 NIV)
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32 ESV)
Do all things without grumbling and faultfinding and complaining and questioning
and doubting. (Philippians 2:14 AMP)
So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. (Romans 14:19 ESV)
Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. (1 Peter 2:1 NIV)
Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the mind and healing to the body. (Proverbs 16:24 AMP)
O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you. (Psalm 84:12 NIV84)
Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious-the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. (Philippians 4:8 MSG)
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